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Sunday, May 4, 2014

Womanhood

 What does it feel like to be a woman? What's the definition of an ideal woman? How should she behave in public? Society seems more adept at answering these questions on behalf of women, doesn't it? I often find myself thinking I don't fit the usual description of a woman. Does that make me any less of a woman?

"Can't cook?......Oh that's sad!"
"You like sports?.... That's odd."
"Don't watch Rang Rasiya? What about Balika Vadu?"
"Don't like to bargain with vegetable hawkers? What!?!"
"Friends with guys?....How many?"

I have encountered lots of disparaging looks whenever I deviate from the norm of how a woman ought to be.  But how do I convey that I'm just as much a woman as any of the 3 million commuters of the Mumbai Local? I am just as scared of walking on a lonely street late at night. I have been a victim of eve-teasing/stalking as any other woman on the streets and the cat's got my tongue too on a few instances. I too decide my outfits based on the place and mode of transport rather than my mood. I will struggle to heave a filled gas cylinder across the hallway, into the kitchen, but will never allow a strange man to enter the house when I am alone.

Why not treat each woman as an individual? Respect will follow naturally. Individuals don't fit into a mold. Don't even try to fit women into your set notions about them. This paradigm shift is must if the society needs to prosper/evolve.

Women are not items of possession or entertainment nor is their sole purpose of existence to fulfill vile fantasies of perverts. Yet, this nasty thought is so deeply ingrained in the society, it's nauseating to say the least. "Main to tandoori murgi hoon yaar. Gatka le saiyaan alcohol se", "shaam ko daroo, raat ko ladki aur neend aa jaye" Lines like these dripping of misogyny further adds to the society's gender inequality woes.

Let's try and change this for the better by eradicating any preconceived beliefs or standards that you've been harbouring about women, and treat each and every woman as an individual.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Brain-Talk

My mind surprises and confuses me with reactions least expected. Let me explain this better.

If someday I dress up well, and someone compliments me about my looks, I return their kind words with a polite smile and a thank you. A mild sweet reaction, ain't it?

But if someone where to compliment me on some intellectual aspect.. say, "you are well read", "you are quite smart for your age" (this compliment at times frightens me, will blog about it someday), then the reaction that the "complimenter" receives from me can hardly be called 'mild'. I would grin from ear to ear. And thank the complimenter profusely, further proceeding to explain how I gained the knowledge and who else has given me similar compliments, and if that complimenter happens to be a friend, I will make sure he/she never forgets this compliment by repeating it often. :)

So my mind has informed me in bold letters that compliments on looks don't matter!! Go figure.